Sunday, 12 September 2010

the wonderings of a restless mind

Pete thinks that the evolution of the middle ear was over-complicated and unnecessary and a third leg would have addressed the balance issue. It puts me in mind of the Top Gear episode where Robin Reliants overturn going round corners. For me, it's self-awareness that bothers me. Continuation of the species is the game, so how have we got to a point where an individual can consider one's contribution to society and feel worthless or inferior? Mental health and physical health are closely linked, therefore if you do not make a significant contribution to the continuation of your species are you less likely to survive and reproduce? Or is it more to do with a positive state of mind being an advantage regardless of whether your perception of your contribution is in line with your actual contribution? How does a species evolve to be so complicated that we're past surviving and procreating? I have a tendency to over-analyse situations – it often makes me miserable. I spend so long trying to determine a person's motivation for their actions, or lack of action, that I often forget to just enjoy myself. Friendships are similar. It appears that my role in many of my social interactions is that of an amateur therapist - through no desire of my own I may add. I merely attribute this to my ability to listen and my genuine concern for the people I consider to be friends. It becomes more interesting when you analyse each social interaction. For a relationship where both individuals feel satisfied, it could be said that on average each person should receive the same amount of attention. I could tell you the career ambitions of a certain friend's ex-boss, whom I have never met, yet I doubt that same friend would be able to tell you what country I currently live in. As I become older I become more dissatisfied with life. As a child I pictured myself in an unknown job, but being bloody good at it. As an adult, I still don't know what I want to do and feel greatly frustrated when I don't reach the levels of perfection that I strive for. In reality, I'm extremely capable, organised and efficient – it's my own unattainable standards that ensure I never feel satisfied with my contribution. Does that state of mind have a positive or negative impact on continuation of the species? Answers on a postcard please.

Any views expressed are my own and are not representative of VSO.

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